where is the break

faded away

2005-03-27T10:11:42Z

torn by miscelanious thoughts
not sure which way to turn
look
run
everything seems so out of place
heart break
pain
hate

what happened to love
joy
honesty
things you don't hear often enough
stuff that comes no longer
just fades away
life that meant so much
just became insignifacant

it seems so hard to believe
that anything good can still remain
it seems like life became a game
how can this be reall
everything that became real

just like my hopes
my dreams
whats hurts the most is you and me
you faded away

love

2005-03-21T07:42:48Z

hello lost souls, yea i haven't been here in ever and i miss it all so very much. i love everyone who visits my site trust i jusdt can't hardly ever reply , but love you all in deed

hopes and miserys

this is to hope
that only breaks down
to life that lies
and hearts erased

this is to love
that only lies
to fate the kills
and pain that stays

this is to hate
that only strives
as it slowly grows stronger
then defeats the weak

this to us
that only believes
that in this one moment
everything will be peace

hope you like i haven't been here for whilee probably lost what i once had

ummm... nope i lied just then sorry
haha jk

love all tk-

breakxmexdown @ 2004-08-11T01:23:00

2004-08-11T08:22:51Z

in times of pain
its just a game

take the ride
or choose to hide
its just another tide

to call the night
its all alright
don't bother with the fight

drunken days
it's a haze

write your own ending
for your the one living

when times are hard turn to your friends, and i love mine. lexe letting me stay with her because my mom deicded to be a freak show host and scare the shit out of me, but i don't care she can be drunk it is my life and i'm outta there for a while, and hey maybe a break is just what i needed. love you guys and sorry i don't post much.

love tk- <33

poem: happy times

2004-07-16T02:14:58Z

hollow halls
crystal balls
looking in the past

flashbacks come
they never fade
rivers of tears
flood my life
i can't stop the pain

fear the future
can't get through
i hung the rope
i jumped from the chair
i'm sorry i left you
with such dispare

sorry guys i didn't have much to write about so this is all i posting maybe next time i'll have something interesting to write.

love you all

tk-

emotions are confused

2004-07-08T03:11:57Z

i love being around some of my friends, but then all at the same time some of my friends drive me crazy and i don't know how to tell them. and i don't want them to think that i don't like them becasue i do , i just can't stand to be around them more than 10-15 minutes at a time. god the just can't under stand. plus, my parents just became grand parents like twice in the same week and all they talk about is these two babies that they've never even seen. grrrr. whenever i have a problem they just blow me away like it's nothing. god they make me made, so i think i find one of my poems that will fit this situation.

Numb

pain is life
glory is death
i hold the knife
that will take my life

i have no children
there's bad news for no one
for those who cared
already ran

my pain is to great
my time must end
i slit my wrist
i feel no pain

i grew numb
i felt nothing this was

yeah especially when my parents pushed me away. haha they only think they know me they know nothing about me. it makes me laugh how they think i am so nice and everything. they think i'm their little angel girl.

love you guys

love
tk-

Taker

2004-07-01T20:19:55Z

Dawn of all demons
the spread of all hate
sorrocerers controlling you
is this my only fate

falling to you to say my last words
loved those who were there
though now forever turned away
i ask only on question
what made you this way

one single tear fell sown your face
when you raised your sword
said, the pain of all time
then took my life

if you are going through a rough time you are not alone. and nate this poem is partly for you because you are having a hard time right now and i just hope you don't let your pain take you over, because lj wouldn't be the same with out you, and i would cry my eyes out.

love you and all my lj friends.

tk-

I'M BACK

2004-07-01T02:23:54Z

hey everybody long time sense i could get on. but now i can again and i can't wait to start updating like always. being there for my lj friends means a lot to me and i love you all. and if you need a friend i'll be there. plus, i have so more really new awesome hate poetry that i'm always putting in. i donn't have any with me right now, but i'll put some in soon don't worry. love you all and please remember me. and i'm listening to my favorite song. "at least i know i'm a sinner" by Atreyu. i can't wait to get they're neww album. love you all especially nate goth babe and lexi buh biaz.

breakxmexdown @ 2004-04-23T22:30:00

2004-04-24T05:22:39Z

Ok so this is xxeasytargetxx updating for breakxmexdown...

I'm alright, but one of my friends was just murdered. Not that my parents care because all they did was lecture me about having friends in gangs and mention it all the time.
Oh, and now they can't trust me because of me having friends that were in gangs.
Welp, sorry I can't post much. I love and miss you all of you so much.
Espically gothic_babebay, nate and pizzaman. You guys are great.

Love,

Tiffany
TK-muah<3

typist's note: I'm not sure if she has it in her userinfo, but she can check her mail from school, but just not el jay cause it's blocked.
So if you'd like, email her at hell_has_broken_me@yahoo.com

dreams from weirdland

2004-03-04T17:58:39Z

okay every night before i go to bed i have been reading hary potter, so i've been having these weird dreams like whoa. and it's like me and my friends are there and we're just hanging out and all like usual, but then people with just like poof in and poof out and i'm like wow when did we start doing this stuff. or we'll be playing quidditche, and i know i just spelt that wrong. i dunno, i guess i need to start reading at a different time of day, but i dont have time during the day. so i'm like well i need to read this, because i won't watch the movie until i've read the book or else it'sll ruin the book for me, so i guess i'm just gonna weird dreams for a while. besides there is only five books right.

yeah but anyways, after all that. i was wondering, what is it with me. i am like weird as hell. oh well, i like it this way... now if only my parents would let go back to looking the i like to look, my life would be great right about now.

oh well that wil never happen, at least until i'm outta the house, and that's only a couple years away, so life will be getting real great in couple of years. YEAH!

oh well, i've got to go, because i have absolutely nothing to talk about anymore, and i'll post again soon. love yah people's..(TeeHee). buh biaz

changes

2004-03-01T16:59:12Z

have you ever just needed a change in your life, welp i changed my hair, and i like,but my dad hates and it and now he calls me "RED" yeah but i don't care becasue i like it. i think that he just can't stand it whenever i'm happy. i wouldn't doubt it. yeah welp, tht's all i really don't have anything to say, except my friend alxis HAD WAY TO MUCH UN THIS WEEKEND. yeah she's awesome.

it's all alright

2004-02-27T16:07:10Z

welp, everything is going alright right now. i mean, even though i have to go out for cheerleading, it can't be that bad, and who cares if it's going to ruin my social life. my real friends will stay with me. they're just going to yell slut slut slut slut slut, from the stands if i make it. besides it's alright. the only thing that went wrong yesterday was the fact that i think my parents may have went through my things, but hey they're parents they're always in my business. referr to my poem i wrote in the post b-4 this one and it'll will say all that, but right now everything is alright, and i hope it's stays that way through progress report, otherwise it's going to be pain pain and more pain for me. then i be bitching again in my post.

life is coming to hell

2004-02-25T20:31:28Z

life is coming to hell
lives are gettng worse
people can't live with themselves
people are going crazy

life is coming to hell
parents are always on my ass
parents can't seem to mind their own business
i just want to see them leave me alone

life is coming to hell
friends are going through hard times
times that they can't make it through alone
friends need emotional help

life is coming to hell
people still believe in god
people are still being lied to
people still think everything can change

life is comeng to hell

the truth is that life is hell and that it doesn't make sence to just live with it. i hate living ith the fact that i'm in hell,especailly sence crying every night makes it that much worse. i hide my true feeling from everyone, and then i night i can't hide them from myself. why is that? i'll never know. life is nothing but hate, and that's why life is comeing to hell

i think of you

2004-02-18T17:45:02Z

when i sit in my room
lying on my bed
i think of you

the way you do me wrong everyday
the way i cry wishing you were there for me
hoping that one day you would love me
then i see you're not worth my tears

when i'm all alone
sitting in the dark
i see your face

it's like a permanant burn
that will never go away
a scar that hurts every time you look at it
and when my pain shows through
it hurts more than ever before

when i look at a picture
of you hollding me
when i was only a baby

i think of how it should have been
what could be good in my life
but you destroyed it
you through all away

when i'm with my friends
when i'm all alone
when i'm standing in the rain
when the flashbacks come again and again
when everything that went wrong in my life happens...

i think of you...

so this is for you
the one of the few
that was supposed to be there
no matter what

thanks for the pain inside of me....

MOTHER

i dedicate this to my biological mother, because she always made me feel like she hated me. even when i tried to leave her alone, she was always in my business, she was always tearing me down. i'm sick of her, all she wants is to see me cry, and i'm through with her. i won't do it anymore. i won't let her see me cry again. even now that i'm over 2000 miles away she still in my business, and trying to tear me down, so i'm giving up on even talking to her. i have enough problems with out her.

to many emotional problems and she one of the biggest. so trish if you have a lj i hope you read this because i HATE you with the passion of all passions my heart has.

family

2004-02-13T19:21:09Z

hey every body did you guys know that life sucks. yeah my fcking parents are fighting again. god i hate them o so much. then it gets better though, b/c after they do this shit as i have to stay until 12:00 listening to them yell at each other, they act like nothng even hapened asif im that clear miner. i know i'm the smartest person around, but i'm smart enough to know when stuff in the family just ain't right. i hate my family. my biological mother is a bitch both brothers are dumbazzez. then there's my dad who is just always on my azz about stuff that i didn't even do , and that pisses me off so then he gets pissed. then my step mom gets mad b/c my dad is mad, and i swear i think everone in my family hates me.

love sucks dick

2004-02-11T22:09:02Z

okay everything was good,but i've decided something. love isn't out there... well at least not in a man's world, so i am no longer looking for love b/c you never find a guy that is really and truly serious about it, and i'm through with it. so screw that. i am now just going to hook up with people.

through with love

happier than usual

2004-02-09T17:26:43Z

welp, i guess i'm happy even though why i'm happy really isn't kewl. welp, my parents got drunk with a friend of the family colleen and keith. welp, we're all over at their house and they got drunk and we didn't get home til like 2:00 A fucking M. yeah i was bored but. it was so funny because they're all over their but they are talking about a very serious subject. non of them remember anything about what they said, but me. and then colleen was sitting on the table in their dinning room and my dad was messing around and he sat in her lap, and the tablewent down. 5 beer spilt all over the floor (carpet) so funny. my dad and colleen are lying on the ground laughing in five beer. it was so funny, and then no one remembers anything about the night except me and keith, and that's only because keith only drinks a little now. because he doesn't like getting drunk. so yeah that was jut so funny. and my parents are still being major douches but i don't care any more so just #$%^ em

friends in time of need

2004-02-05T17:00:32Z

parents are still being bitches, but friends are supportive, and for that i must thank dark_liberty and XxeasyxtargetxX to awesome people. even though i don't know both of them personally i must say they are awesome friends.

parents

2004-02-04T19:02:22Z

fucking parents all they ever want is what they want, it's like, oh #$%^ you to hell, this will have no inpact on you. after all its just your life i'm taking away. god i swear if they move to arkansas, i'll go #$%^ing insane, and every day he starts talking about it more and more, its pissing me off, and i think he knows that i won't go with them, i swear i'm so effin' mad at them right now. everything is fine nothing was wrong, and i was fine right here, so why does he want to take this all away frim us. we're happy... WE'RE #$%^ING HAPPY!!!!
god i don't even think he cares anymore. so why should i care about them anymore. oh well, this is me... and he can't take me away from myself! i swear if he doesn't stop himself with all this stuff he's trying to do right now. i'll do exactly what he doesn't want me to do,.. that's gothic, what i used to be. he said i can't have black hair... that's fine i don't need black hair to be gothic. i'll just dress it and do my make-up for it. i don't need him anyways. all any of my parents have ever brought me is heartbreak. and i'm sick of it.. so i'm taking a break from even listening to it.

good bye

2004-01-30T22:21:34Z

hate n the back of my mind
everyone thinks that i'm fine
reality shows the depression
but soon my parents will learn their lesson
hearts are breaking too
everybody's heard the knews

now it's just you and me
but now i just want to be
left alone
on my own
cheering up is not for me
it's just not meant to be

holding back true feelings
soon i'll find my reall billings
then i will be farrealz
i don't like blue, so say i'm teal
it's close enough
this is just to tough

i would let go
but then i think and i know
i can't leave the people
who are real
te ones that feal
the one that care
and share. and are still there

i just wanna be alone
so please listen to me
be fareal
don't be up there
come soen here

and if you must
stay here, but be silent
and let me stay in my own world
in my own place
staring into space
not acknowledging anything

forgive me if i don't talk
i just want to be with myself
talking in my mind
listening to music
that's not really there

this is me saying good bye

happiness,

2004-01-23T18:54:42Z

i got a boyfriend, so happy!!!

alexis don't hurt me, b/c it's sammy, and i don't care if he's at my school, you did that too. (TeeHee)

pissed

2004-01-21T16:00:59Z

hey everyone, i'm really pissed at my family, no joke i mean seriously... ok we just moved to this town, and we're not going to be moveing anytime soon, but they're all ready aking plans to move. we have been moving around with my dads job like the entire time i've lived with him, and i just wanna stay in one play for a while. knowing that we're not gong to move for a while, how long exactly is "a while" grrrrr. they piss me off. if and when they move i'm not going with them they kiss that good by. this is just so effin fuct right now. grrrr....

tk-

breakxmexdown @ 2004-01-14T11:59:00

2004-01-14T20:00:05Z

well, i have a few new friends, that's always awesome... it's kowl now i can get into their lives and they get into mine, and that's just life.

Forgiveness

2004-01-12T17:37:03Z

underneath the forgiveness of hell
i shouldknow this well
actually, a little better
either way...it's still the same

lost int he eyes of the seer
the believer who fears what he sees
and says he'll never believe

i say they're all just scared
won't see, feel, or hear
for they will only fear

fear the truth inside them all
on day we all shall fall
i call it....

the forgiveness of hell

BROKEN DOWN

2004-01-09T15:57:32Z

broken down
fallin' through
crying in the night
turning out the lights

watching the darkness
depression taking over
looking in on my life
as though it's not my own

broken down
falling through
listening to you
preaching to me

tuning you out
looking through you
thinking backward
memories viewed
black and white
this is all i see

broken down
fallin through
looking at you
seeing through you

seeing the me
that only used to be
hoping one day
i'll find me agin

broken down
fallin through
crying in the night
turning out the lights

this is for the pain that lives inside of me. thinking of how everything that used to be. wondering how i lost myself to who i am today. *eyes filling with tears* as it gets harder to see. i wonder if i am still me. losing me to myself changed me. so now i'm someone who's lost to the world i only used to know.

life

2004-01-06T22:25:30Z

HERE'S TO....
here to life
to wisedom and
to stupidity

here's to hate
to love and
to passion

here's to everything
what could go wrong
and to what won't

here's to what has
and to what hasn't

here's to you
and to me
and to everyone else too

here's to
here's to.... YOU

this is to all the crap that was imposed into life to make it all fu*ked up. i'm tired of ppl acting like they know me, when they only see through me. ppl are always posing and acting as though they've been around you your entire life. i want these ppl to just fu*k themselves b/c i'm not listening to them anymore. they can take to hell with them.